I couldn’t think of anything more clever for a title…must be the “chemo-brain”, lol.
But here I am, in all my seventh-chemo glory:
And I’ve got yet another wonderful friend from college to thank for coming with me today. We talked so much the time flew by (and these Taxol infusions take ALL day), and I scarcely noticed the traffic on our way back home. I’m one lucky girl, that’s for sure!
So….I have to share with you that the past two weeks were TOUGH. Really, really tough. I had what I like to call a Def-con 5 meltdown last week – finally, don’t you think? – and my hubby helped me pick up the pieces (gotta love him!). I’m just worn down…physically, mentally, emotionally…all of it. I am completely, utterly and totally spent. I know I’m almost there, and I keep telling myself that – but I found myself saying, “I’ve only got two treatments left – wait, sh*t, I STILL have two treatments left, ughhh”.
I also lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. This SUCKS, plain and simple. Much harder than losing the hair on my head, I have to say, which was surprising. I’m still caught off guard by my reflection in the mirror sometimes though, because I just don’t look like myself anymore. It’s the cancer-me, the face of someone who should feel sick (which I thankfully don’t). It has a stripped-down feel to it…raw, naked, vulnerable, hollow….just plain yuck. I can say without a doubt that I don’t like this reflection. I’ve felt compelled to share my no-make-up face with you here, not for your pity or telling me that beauty is within – but because it’s part of this process, it’s part of my processing it all…and I hope you don’t mind! On a brighter note, I’ve found an awesome eyebrow product (thanks so my best sister evah!) called Wunderbrow that has really helped. So, I’m going to post my no-make-up face, and then another pic after I used the Wunderbrow, some powder and put on a SMILE (no filters on either). The photos look like night and day to me, and I’m going to title these two #skindeep. Brace yourself, friends:
Much better. And I think it’s true what Annie sang: you’re never fully dressed without a smile! 🙂
Now that infusion #7 is over and I can say, “Only ONE MORE left!!!”, I feel the weight has been lifted.
I got this.